You are an unclean and nasty orifice which -in a recent survey - nine out of ten sentient beings in the Known universe (who expressed a preference) found extremely undesirable. You have few friends. In fact, it was one of these "friends" who offered you the unmissable opportunity of an inter-galactic package holiday. But something went wrong and you were accidentally knocked unconscious. When you awake and struggle free of your comfortable nailed-down crate you discover that the "pleasure-cruiser" is in flames'
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