Forsooth!
Prepareth yeself, adventurer,
for ye now readeth...
YON
ASTOUNDING
CASTLE!
of some sort
(ye olde walkthrough!)
‘Twas scribbled in ye usual manner and/or idiom of one:
Tiberius Thingamus
‘Tis his work & not yours, so nanner-nanner-boo-boo.
* * * * *
WARNING: HERE THERE BE YE OLDE SPOILERS!
* * * * *
About ye walkthroughs
Ye olde walkthrough hath been writ first upon this 29th of September, in ye second thousand
and ninth year Anno Domini. ‘Twas writ to showeth actions only, thereby being free o’ story
spoilers (tho’, forsooth, containing nearly all o’ ye puzzle spoilers). Be it known that ye
olde walkthrough document containeth TWO walkthroughs, one for ye more exciting route and one for
yon fastest route. Howe’er, ye who are so bold as to resorteth to’t, be hereby WARNED that ye
walkthroughs shan’t getteth ye yon best possible ending… ‘twill taketh ye brow sweats &
such brain twistery for total victory!
Ye walkthrough containeth mild interjections from ye author. Most especially, ye authorial
interjections hath been used to avoid long streams o’ directions, which may causeth headaches.
Therefore, they hath been abbreviated to “returneth to ____” and similar things, whereby upon
reading ‘tis assumed ye hath done as directed.
Ye walkthrough also dothn’t included ye footnotes. Those interested may worketh them in as
they pleaseth.
* * * * *
PART YE FIRST:
Ye Olde Exciting Route!
> u
> e
> n
> open contraption
> s
> w
> get nut
> d
> get nut
> e
> give nut to squirrel
(Now ye hath ye first treasure! HUZZAH!)
> s
> u
> get string
> d
> unlock table
> open it
> get cronkle
> n
> x greenery
> n
> x rack
> get belt
> get title
> put belt on device
> put cronkle on device
> pull lever
> pull lever
> pull lever
> get belt
> wear it
> s
> e
> read article
(Oo, plot!)
> u
> get booke
> x table
> x scroll
> get cheese
> eat cheese
> d
> e
> open wall
> e
> y
> clock
> mamy
> envelope
> yorick
> get gold
> e
> klarthaphmo
> d
> x fountain
> get bottle
> w
> get mitt
> wear it
> n
> e
> s
> get oat
> x pile
> n
> w
> s
> e
> e
> unlock trapdoor
> d
> x object
> x appendages
> x doodads
> x novelties
> get opener
> open bottle
> x glongenfrilschafible
> x intricacies
> x spangles
> get manual
> read it
> drop it
> get fruit
> w
> w
> give fruit to monster
> w
> w
> s
> get napkin
> s
> e
> get weasel
> x placard
> e
> n
> open cupboard
> unlock desk
> x it
> get magic crystal
(Now returneth to ye Room of Yon Intricate Object.)
> move movable
> e
> e
> get bag
> y
> throw magic crystal
> get bag
(With ye bag, whene’er ye runneth into Goblin Bob ye may “sleep goblin” to avoideth being
robbed. Now, headeth back to ye Lakery.)
> n
> make item
> tungsten key
> get fred
> e
> give oatmeal to hamish
> give him a napkin
> wear glasses
> e
> s
> w
> sleep snakes
> get snake
> n
> x trunk
(In the trunk ye shalt findeth all o’ ye treasure
which hath been stolen, if any, and ye may reclaimeth
ye takenaries by picking them up, forsooth.)
> x door
> x hole
(Now maketh ye long march back to Ye East/West Tunnel.)
> sleep monster
> w
> w
> s
> s
> e
> e
> n
> put snake in cupboard
(Now getteth ye butt o’er to Inside Ye Hovel.)
> x cupboard
> get snake
> n
> n
> put snake on device
> pull lever
> get snake
(Now hoppeth back o’er to ye Takery.)
> x door
> put snake in hole
> get key
> unlock door with takery key
> e
(If ye still hath ye weasel, ‘twill now awakeneth, HUZZAH!
Now headeth back to Ye Room of Yon Intricate Object.)
> x spirals
> x crests
> x shadows
> x pixel
> get teleporter
(Oh, that might hath helped earlier, too.)
> turn it on
(Might I suggesteth ye droppeth ye teleportation device off at Ye Makery, and then runneth back to
Ye Pointless Parlour?)
> put weasel in hole
> w
> w
> unlock door
> unlock door
> unlock door
> unlock door
> e
> e
> s
> e
> talk to dwarf
> ask dwarf about what
> ask dwarf about magic cap
> w
> get magic arrow
> teleport
> drop fred
> make item
> longbow
(Now wandereth about until ye findeth ye ol’ pal Goblin Bob… Thrug will trounceth ye goblin, and
ye can taketh ye trouncery. Then returneth to Ye Olde Toll Boothe.)
> give trouncery to dwarf
> wear cap
> w
> shoot nickel
> get nickel
> e
> give nickel to dwarf
> e
> s
(Oh no! Returneth to Yon Ice-Surrounded Platform & sayeth KLARTHAPHMO. Then runneth back to Ye
Skull Gate as fast as ye can.)
> w
> s
> w
> s
> w
> w
> n
> w
> shoot ogre
> sleep ogre
> shoot ogre
> sleep ogre
> shoot ogre
> get key
> unlock door
> w
> teleport
> drop fred
> make item
> melting wand
> get fred
> windothreed
> d
> y
> y
> n
> n
> y
> y
> melt wizard
> melting wand
> get scepter
> y
(Congratulations! Ye hath done it. Next time try to playeth through without using ye olde
walkthrough like yon cheater-type person. Also, try to getteth ye highest score possible! Can ye
do it? I thinketh so!)
PART YE SECOND:
Ye Olde Speedy Route!
> u
> e
> n
> open contraption
> s
> w
> get nut
> d
> get nut
> e
> give nut to squirrel
(Huzzah for treasure! Howe’er, groweth not attached to’t.)
> x greenery
> s
> u
> get string
> d
> unlock table
> open it
> get wheel
> n
> n
> put wheel on device
> x rack
> get belt
> get title
> put belt on device
> pull lever
> pull lever
> pull lever
> get belt
> wear it
> s
> e
(What plot? Ye’re just here for ye treasurable ride!)
> e
> open wall
> e
> y
> clock
> mamy
> envelope
> yorick
> get gold
> e
> klarthaphmo
> d
> x fount
(Because ye cannot be bothered to typeth “fountain” on ye speed run!)
> get boat
> w
> get mitt
> wear mitt
> open oven
> get muffin
> n
> e
> s
> x pile
> n
> e
> w
> s
> e
> e
> unlock door
> d
> x object
> x appendage
> x doodad
> x novelty
> get opener
> open bottle
> get fruit
> w
> w
> give fruit to monster
> w
> w
> s
> s
> e
> x placard
> e
> n
> unlock desk
> x it
> get crystal
> s
> w
> w
> n
> n
> e
> e
> e
> move movable
> e
> e
> get bag
> y
> magic crystal
> look
> get bag
> klarthaphmo
> get speechery
(We really hath it in high gear, now!)
> w
> w
> u
> w
> w
> n
> e
> s
> w
> n
> make item
> melting wand
> get fred
> s
> e
> n
> w
> s
> e
> e
> d
> w
> w
> sleep monster
> w
> w
> s
> s
> e
> e
> s
> e
> give treasure to dwarf
> score
(In case ye forgotteth, or losteth some treasure along ye waye and had to substituteth with perhaps
ye cowbell or ye orb or what-have-you.)
> gem
> title
> muffin
> e
> s
> w
> s
> w
> get fungus
> w
> n
> w
> drop fungus
> sleep ogre
> s
> n
> get key
> unlock door
> w
> d
> y
> y
> n
> n
> y
> y
> melt wizard
> melting wand
> look
> get scepter
> y
(Congratulations! Ye hath done it. Next time try to playeth through without using ye olde
walkthrough like yon cheater-type person. Also, try to getteth ye highest score possible! Can ye
do it? I thinketh so!)
